Opinion: Five Reasons Why Paris Saint-Germain Will Beat Borussia Dortmund

Did you read this ridiculous article on the official Bundesliga website? It’s probably a good thing a writer didn’t attach their name to it.

The article essentially gives five reasons why Borussia Dortmund will beat Paris Saint-Germain in the UEFA Champions League Round of 16. The most egregious being that Jadon Sancho and Erling Haaland are better than Kylian Mbappé…right.

Since the official Ligue 1 website is unlikely to put out a response article, I thought I would take it upon myself and fire back at Dortmund and the Bundesliga.

1. Mbappé > Any Player in Dortmund’s History

SASCHA SCHUERMANN/AFP via Getty Images

The Frenchman smacked around Dortmund in 2017 with an AS Monaco squad not nearly as talented as this version of PSG. He’s only gotten better with experience and with players like Angel Di Maria and Neymar Jr. looking to play him in behind Mats “I run like my shoes are filled with concrete” Hummels, the 21-year-old is poised to have a memorable performance in front of the Dortmund supporters once again.

2. Neymar > Any Player in Dortmund’s History

Sorry to those Dortmund supporters who thought Neymar would miss this match. While officially the Brazilian has been rehabbing a rib injury, unofficially, the club has kept their prized asset safe from Ligue 1 defenders to make sure he’s ready to put in a performance against Dortmund.

Neymar is having one of his best seasons as a professional (15 goals and 10 assists through 18 total appearances) and he’s finally healthy for the knockout phase of the Champions League. Worst yet for Dortmund, the 28-year-old is playing with a chip on his shoulder to silence his critics once and for all. Good luck stopping him with a defense that gave up three goals to Bundesliga bottom-feeder Werder Bremen and another four goals to Bayer 04 Leverkusen recently.

3. The Yellow Yawn

Frederic Scheidemann/Bongarts/Getty Images

Paris Saint-Germain banged in goals away at AS Saint-Étienne this season with opposing supporters shooting flares at them. Do you think they’re frightened by some art school dropout’s tifo? Do you think it’s a picnic going down to Olympique de Marseille with their fans pelting PSG players with bottles and trash during every corner kick? This team has been in cauldrons hotter than Signal Iduna Park and they won’t be intimidated by fans dressed like large bumblebees.

4. Experienced Goalkeeper

JAVIER SORIANO/AFP via Getty Images

How many Champions League titles has Roman Bürki won? Zero? Interesting. PSG’s goalkeeper, Keylor Navas, has won three. I think I like our chances with the more experienced and accomplished goalkeeper.

5. Call Them “Ortmund” Because There’s No D

When Thomas Tuchel’s preferred defense is healthy (Thiago Silva, Marquinhos, Juan Bernat, Thomas Meunier), they can play lights out. In the group stage of the Champions League, which included two games against Real Madrid, PSG only gave up two goals. Through 25 Ligue 1 matches, PSG has given up 21 goals, which is second-best in the league. That’s what defense looks like.

Dortmund, on the other hand, gave up a whopping eight goals in the group stage of the Champions League and 32 goals through 22 Bundesliga matches, which is by far the worst of any of the top five teams. Just look at the ridiculous defending in the second half against a quality team like RB Leipzig at home nonetheless:

Dortmund should just hope Mbappé and Neymar miss the flight to Germany. That’s their only hope.

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